The Beauty of Support
Jubilee was my state, as I read a post of tooth pain and wonder. As I was scrolling through Facebook I came across the post of a friend looking for advice on how to sooth tooth pain. I opened the comments to see if the knowledge I had to offer had already presented. What I saw lifted my spirits! There was 20+ comments on this post, all coming to aid a single father’s mission in minimizing his daughter’s pain. This got me thinking about support systems.
#1 What exactly is a support system?
#2 How does a support system vary from a support group?
Webster told me that a support system is a network of people who provide an individual with practical and/or emotional support. Where as a support group is the same but with a key difference of the people in a support group share common experiences or concerns. Basically, the difference between the two is you get to choose who is in your support system because whether someone belongs to a support group is up to the individual, based on their life experiences and personal opinion.
#3 What makes a good support system? Who do you choose?
Your support system should be carefully selected and be considered an exclusive group of elites because you are trusting them to directly influence your decisions in life; as well as, you are trusting them to hold your secrets and personal thoughts as they would their own. Most of your support system needs to be role models, people close to you in your life you admire for good reason. Maybe you admire them for their positive attributes or the way they influence on you and others. These types of admirable people tend to share common traits: responsibility, patience, integrity, loyalty, honesty and a good sense of judgement.
The people in your support system will be the people that you feel safe with and you trust to not look upon you negatively when you open up to them. Now do keep in mind, a support system is not a group of enablers because if you are messing up, they will tell you. A good supporter will shed light on the negativity in your life, help you find the source of the problem then help offer guidance on how to overcome said obstacles in life. If a person in your support system is only telling you negative things without evidence or thoughts on how to make a negative into a positive, they need to be removed from your network. People like that have no place in your support system or anyone’s life in general, for that matter.
Don’t feel like your support system has to be big to be effective. Sometimes having too many people involved in your life can create unnecessary drama. Understand that over time you may need to remove people from your support system if they are no longer offering positivity and goodness to your life. As you continue fine tuning your support system, adding those who you feel play a good role and eliminating anyone who starts to bring you down, you will create a forcefield of wisdom. Personally, I have a total of 6 members in my support system; three family members, one friend, two mentors and my boyfriend. Usually I only consult two of them at a time, unless I am faced with a big decision that I feel very unsure and insecure about.
#4 Why is having the right kind of support system important?
We are all human and have a deep rooted need for acceptance; therefore, by surrounding yourself with a forcefield of individuals who accept and love you, who want to see you be happy and flourish, you are inclined to confidently grow as an individual. You will feel accepted even when there are disagreements in ideas because the people in a support system truly want what is best for you and understand that to disagree is not to disengage a relationship. Having good thoughtful people in your corner helps you balance your self esteem and lead a more satisfied life.
